Post by Admin on Jan 3, 2021 0:08:15 GMT
Author: Aranna Undomiel
Quietly closing the door to the Healing Ward, he couldn't stop a weary sigh escaping his lips. The last three days he had spent every waking minute fighting both a physical and mental battle to save his patient's life, but alas to no avail.
Another sigh escaped him as he spotted a familiar figure slumped against the wall close by. Silently debating to let his sleeping son sleep and delay the expected confrontation to a moment after he had some rest, he was stopped from making a decision as the figure started to stretch out and grey eyes blinked open before settling on him. "Good morning Estel" he greeted softly, before nodding his head sadly at his son's unspoken question. "It is done..."
Seeing his son's face change from sadness to anger, he mentally braced himself for the upcoming outburst. Estel, seventeen now in human years, had fought and argued with him over every decision in the past three days. The last argument had turned into a temper tantrum he had last seen when Estel was a very young boy, so he had to ban his son from the Healing Wards as a result.
"So you did it then? You killed him? “His son's voice rose to a shout and he held up a warning hand to silence him. “Not here Estel, there are still patients here who need their rest!” Having the decency to at least look ashamed for a minute, his son followed him as he walked through the corridor that would lead them outside. The sun was just beginning to rise, its beams lightening the dark of the night sky. Soon the Elves in the house would wake up and start their daily routines.
He could feel Estel's anger nearly roll of him, his body tight and his fists balled as he followed him in silence. Finally they came upon a small clearing between the trees, a crystal-clear pond with a little waterfall at the far end. He gestured towards the bench before sitting down on it. Estel joined him for a few seconds, before jumping up and pacing in front of him agitatedly.
"How could you, Ada? He was your friend! How could you kill him like that! You could have saved him! You always save everyone one, why not him?" He sighed deeply at his son's outburst, seeing the tears form in the young man's eyes as he furiously tried to scrub them away, glaring at him. Pushing down his own grief for the moment, he stepped towards Estel, reaching out a comforting hand, but his son twisted out of his reach. Aegloss had been his friend indeed, but for Estel he and his wife had been another surrogate family. Estel had been best friends with their son ever since he came to live at Imladris and he had spent many hours with them, even more so after tragedy had struck.
“This was my wife’s favourite spot in Imladris, so after we lost her I spent every moment I could here, just to keep her memory alive in my mind.” He turned back to Estel, who stared at him with a confused frown. “What does that have to do with what you did?” his son questioned. “You’ve always taught me to only take a life if there’s no other option left, to always choose life over death. But now you suddenly take someone’s life and you want me to believe that you did right by him?!”
“I did not take his life Estel. Taking a life or killing someone means you do so without consent from the one whose life you are taking. Taking his life is not what I did today, ion nin. I merely accepted that he wanted to give up his life and I helped him pass on. Aegloss had been fading ever since that orc-attack took the lives of his wife and son, you know this. He had lost the will to live; he felt he had lost every reason to keep fighting for another day. I managed to save his life then, but for him it was not a life worth living. I sometimes wonder, if I had known then what I do now, if I would have let him join his family and save him from all the agony and pain in trying to live without them…
And now with his health deteriorating so rapidly, all I could do was keep him comfortable. You can’t save someone, who doesn’t want to be saved, Estel. He asked me for my help, to help make his passing swift and painless. And as his friend, there really was no other option than to respect his wishes and help him finally let go and join his family again…”
He looked at Estel, who was swallowing thickly, shoulders sagging. Sighing he turned to look at the waterfall. “There was once a time when I felt the same. Your brothers rode out every day and I let them, knowing full well their rage could lead to them getting killed. Nothing mattered at that time; I had no hope left…”
He turned back to his son.
“And then you came, Estel, and you brought life back to these halls. You were so small and helpless when you first came here with your mother…” He ignored the teenager’s grimace with a soft smile; at this age the boy refused to believe he had ever been anything other than tall and fearless. “You came to me with all your questions; you tricked Elladan and Elrohir into joining your games.”
He still remembered the first time; he had been staring out over Imladris only to be startled out of his thoughts by a tug on his robes. He did not see anyone beside him, but another tug brought his gaze down, only to find teary grey eyes looking up to him. Kneeling down to the young boy’s level, he asked gently: “What is wrong little one?” The boy frowned deeply and he had to supress a smile at how adorable that made the small child look. “The other boys say I ask stupid questions” He smiled down at the boy. “There are no stupid questions young one, only stupid answers, usually given when the one you question doesn’t know the answer. What did you want to know?” The little boy beamed at him and had started on his list of questions. And from that moment, whenever Estel had a question, he would feel a tug on his robe and see a small face looking up at him expectantly, distracting him and preventing him from giving in to his sorrow and grief.
“You are named Estel for the hope you represent for your people, but for us you are named that way because you brought hope and joy back in these halls. You gave us hope that we could live on and that we even could enjoy doing that.” Seeing tears form in the teenager’s eyes he gently gathered him in his arms. Estel resisted for a few seconds, before folding into his arms and burying his head in his shoulder. Softly kissing the boy’s head he whispered into his hair, too quiet for the boy to hear: “You can’t save everyone tithen pen, but your hope and love have already saved us and will save so many more…”
Quietly closing the door to the Healing Ward, he couldn't stop a weary sigh escaping his lips. The last three days he had spent every waking minute fighting both a physical and mental battle to save his patient's life, but alas to no avail.
Another sigh escaped him as he spotted a familiar figure slumped against the wall close by. Silently debating to let his sleeping son sleep and delay the expected confrontation to a moment after he had some rest, he was stopped from making a decision as the figure started to stretch out and grey eyes blinked open before settling on him. "Good morning Estel" he greeted softly, before nodding his head sadly at his son's unspoken question. "It is done..."
Seeing his son's face change from sadness to anger, he mentally braced himself for the upcoming outburst. Estel, seventeen now in human years, had fought and argued with him over every decision in the past three days. The last argument had turned into a temper tantrum he had last seen when Estel was a very young boy, so he had to ban his son from the Healing Wards as a result.
"So you did it then? You killed him? “His son's voice rose to a shout and he held up a warning hand to silence him. “Not here Estel, there are still patients here who need their rest!” Having the decency to at least look ashamed for a minute, his son followed him as he walked through the corridor that would lead them outside. The sun was just beginning to rise, its beams lightening the dark of the night sky. Soon the Elves in the house would wake up and start their daily routines.
He could feel Estel's anger nearly roll of him, his body tight and his fists balled as he followed him in silence. Finally they came upon a small clearing between the trees, a crystal-clear pond with a little waterfall at the far end. He gestured towards the bench before sitting down on it. Estel joined him for a few seconds, before jumping up and pacing in front of him agitatedly.
"How could you, Ada? He was your friend! How could you kill him like that! You could have saved him! You always save everyone one, why not him?" He sighed deeply at his son's outburst, seeing the tears form in the young man's eyes as he furiously tried to scrub them away, glaring at him. Pushing down his own grief for the moment, he stepped towards Estel, reaching out a comforting hand, but his son twisted out of his reach. Aegloss had been his friend indeed, but for Estel he and his wife had been another surrogate family. Estel had been best friends with their son ever since he came to live at Imladris and he had spent many hours with them, even more so after tragedy had struck.
“This was my wife’s favourite spot in Imladris, so after we lost her I spent every moment I could here, just to keep her memory alive in my mind.” He turned back to Estel, who stared at him with a confused frown. “What does that have to do with what you did?” his son questioned. “You’ve always taught me to only take a life if there’s no other option left, to always choose life over death. But now you suddenly take someone’s life and you want me to believe that you did right by him?!”
“I did not take his life Estel. Taking a life or killing someone means you do so without consent from the one whose life you are taking. Taking his life is not what I did today, ion nin. I merely accepted that he wanted to give up his life and I helped him pass on. Aegloss had been fading ever since that orc-attack took the lives of his wife and son, you know this. He had lost the will to live; he felt he had lost every reason to keep fighting for another day. I managed to save his life then, but for him it was not a life worth living. I sometimes wonder, if I had known then what I do now, if I would have let him join his family and save him from all the agony and pain in trying to live without them…
And now with his health deteriorating so rapidly, all I could do was keep him comfortable. You can’t save someone, who doesn’t want to be saved, Estel. He asked me for my help, to help make his passing swift and painless. And as his friend, there really was no other option than to respect his wishes and help him finally let go and join his family again…”
He looked at Estel, who was swallowing thickly, shoulders sagging. Sighing he turned to look at the waterfall. “There was once a time when I felt the same. Your brothers rode out every day and I let them, knowing full well their rage could lead to them getting killed. Nothing mattered at that time; I had no hope left…”
He turned back to his son.
“And then you came, Estel, and you brought life back to these halls. You were so small and helpless when you first came here with your mother…” He ignored the teenager’s grimace with a soft smile; at this age the boy refused to believe he had ever been anything other than tall and fearless. “You came to me with all your questions; you tricked Elladan and Elrohir into joining your games.”
He still remembered the first time; he had been staring out over Imladris only to be startled out of his thoughts by a tug on his robes. He did not see anyone beside him, but another tug brought his gaze down, only to find teary grey eyes looking up to him. Kneeling down to the young boy’s level, he asked gently: “What is wrong little one?” The boy frowned deeply and he had to supress a smile at how adorable that made the small child look. “The other boys say I ask stupid questions” He smiled down at the boy. “There are no stupid questions young one, only stupid answers, usually given when the one you question doesn’t know the answer. What did you want to know?” The little boy beamed at him and had started on his list of questions. And from that moment, whenever Estel had a question, he would feel a tug on his robe and see a small face looking up at him expectantly, distracting him and preventing him from giving in to his sorrow and grief.
“You are named Estel for the hope you represent for your people, but for us you are named that way because you brought hope and joy back in these halls. You gave us hope that we could live on and that we even could enjoy doing that.” Seeing tears form in the teenager’s eyes he gently gathered him in his arms. Estel resisted for a few seconds, before folding into his arms and burying his head in his shoulder. Softly kissing the boy’s head he whispered into his hair, too quiet for the boy to hear: “You can’t save everyone tithen pen, but your hope and love have already saved us and will save so many more…”